I’m Jeremy Turner and I’ve got a bunch of things I could write about today. I could tell you about how I’m feeling out of place having to edit this post in clunky old Firefox because the Safari 4 beta and Wordpress 2.7.1 don’t play nice together when adding hyperlinks to your posts. Annoying, but I’ll make it through. Or, I could write about how the new plugins I’ve installed, like Disqus for administrating comments. I could also write about all the plugins I’ve removed, like all that Twitter crap I thought was really cool in January junking up the layout of this site. What I don’t want to write about is how you could have just “share” button provided by AddThis all allong to “toot” about this article if you like. No need for any extra plugins. Then there’s this swanky new theme, Inuittypes, that I just started using, just bursting golden SEO promise and a super-clean layout. I would usually write something like the following:

Theme

This new layout theme you see before you is called Inuittypes was developed by Bizzarctic. It is beautiful. If I had the patience and the downtime this is really close to exactly how I would design my blog. A lot closer to what I was looking for when I started using “Unstandard.” It’s coded with simple, “best practice” SEO (a full list of which you can read about here) in mind which is important to me. It also has a fabulous integrated control panel for setting up most everything you’d ever want to, without having to futz around with the source code. It also supports widgets, which I’ve not had too much experience with but have installed the Twitter widget nonetheless. It came pre-loaded with a Flickr sidebar widget so I figured “what the heck” and fired it up. I am really digging this theme.

But who cares, right?

I could write about the polar reversal of my schadenfreude, and how Jeremy “Happyballs” Turner is once again back on the first page of Google while this site continues to appear and disappear at the finicky whim of some bipolar algorithm, or how my Twitter account started showing up hundreds of results higher than this site. Or I could write about how Google “Profiles” have started showing up on some SERPs, the original objective of this site becoming an even more emberrasing piece of performance art. It would go like this:

Google Profiles

So here’s the skinny: enter the search query me in to Google and you will be greeted with a faux AdWords ad inviting you to sing up for google profiles. From there you enter information about yourself–there is a minimum required in order to show up on the SERP, although it can be filled with dirty, dirty lies–and viola! Your profile name and picture show up at the bottom of the first SERP, along with others a select group of others that share your name.

Or something like that.

What I don’t want to write about right now is how I just performed a vanity search to see how my Google Profile is doing (still #1) and saw that this blog is now ranked #4 for the query jeremy turner, right behind two entries for the landscape photographer and one for the musician who I am sure someday is going to beat my ass. If I had to guess, I think this has something to do with adding this site to my Google Profile but, like most things with Google, I can’t be sure.

I could also write about how 60% of my open applications right now sport an icon that is a variation of a blue sphere, requiring extra cognitive power required to decide which one to select in the Application Swicher, cognitive power that I just don’t have at the moment. I was saving this topic for a full post sometime in the future but seeing as how my Twitter abuse has helped in distilling ideas so succinctly I may have just said all that I need to on the subject.

See the thing is, I don’t find any of that stuff very interesting to write about. Seriously, this has been a torturous exercise for me. Somebody help me. I will gladly take suggestions in the comment area as to what I should be writing about. Please, don’t be shy.

One last thing. Here’s a link to a blogging panel at South By Southwest, hosted by two of my absolute fucking heroes, Merlin Mann and John Gruber. The panel is all about blogging, credibility, and creating something worthwhile. It’s also very funny. If you don’t know who they are, you should. Especially if you create content on the Internet. Daring Fireball (Gruber) is here and 43Folders (Mann) is here.

OK, so there’s a lot of stuff I don’t want to write about. Hopefully next time I’ll have something more worth our while. Thanks for stopping by.